The Fears of the Father

Any time in the next month, Torry (wife), Bailey (son) and I will be welcoming a new baby into our lives. This moment, of course, has brought a lot of excitement into our house. Bailey cannot wait to be a big brother, which is a role I know will suit him perfectly. Torry, although the pregnancy has been tough, is already in nesting mode and is so ready for this. Me, I am excited, but I am scared beyond description.

When Bailey was born just about anything that could be different was different. He is eight years old now, and Torry and I were 24 and 25 years old respectively when he was born. We lived the typical suburban life, even at that age. Both of us were employed and pretty fresh in our careers. For us everything was new, it was all exciting in a way most young parents can relate to.

Over the years Torry and I progressed in our careers, Bailey spent a lot of time in daycare and eventually moved on to Kindergarten and now is preparing for third grade. We have made a couple of significant moves, to Fishers, IN and then to our current location in downtown Chicago. Basically, the last eight years have been a whirlwind. But now, everything is different, but not in a bad sense.

We are living in a city environment and are out of the ‘burbs. Torry has put her career on hold and is doing a great job as a stay at home mother and care giver. Bailey now has a full time parent at his disposal, as will baby number two. And I am eight years older, and I feel every one of those years in my now out-of-shape body.

In those eight years we have experienced the horrible events of 9/11, we have seen our once strong economy decay, we are also more aware of the impact that each one of us has on the environment – it is just a different world to bring a child into. Add to the fact that we are living in Chicago and not the vinyl suburbs and the anxiety level rises. It is just an entirely different ballgame this time around.

In the end, I wouldn’t change our decision to add to our family for anything in the world. I know I am going to lose control of situations, but that is just part of the journey. It is going to be a crazy ride, and fear is a part of that, but I am glad to be taking it with Torry and Bailey.

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